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BULLDOG PHILOSOPHY |
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If a Bulldog was the teacher, you would learn stuff
like:
When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.
Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.
Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your
face to
be pure ecstasy.
When it's in your best interest, practice obedience.
Let others know when they've invaded your territory.
Take naps.
Stretch before rising.
Run, romp, and play daily.
Thrive on attention and let people touch you.
Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.
On warm days, stop to lie on your back on the grass.
On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady
tree.
When you're happy, dance around and wag your entire
body.
No matter how often you're scolded, don't buy into the
guilt thing
and pout ... run right back and make friends.
Delight in the simple joy of a short walk.
Eat with gusto and enthusiasm. Stop when you have had
enough.
Be Loyal. Never pretend to be something you're not.
If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.
When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close,
and nuzzle them gently.
(Author unknown) |
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If
Dogs wrote letters to God:
Dear God:
Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever,
smell one another?
Dear God:
When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is
it the same old story?
Dear God:
Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar,
the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the
rabbit, but
not ONE named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar
riding around? We dogs love a
nice ride! Would it be so
hard to rename the 'Chrysler Eagle' the 'Chrysler
Beagle' ?
Dear God:
If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human
hears him, is he still a bad dog?
Dear God:
We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand
signals whistles, horns, clickers, beepers,
scent ID's,
electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths.
What do humans understand?
Dear God:
More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.
Dear God:
When we get to the Pearly Gates, do we have to shake
hands to get in?
Dear God:
Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have
to apologize?
Dear God:
Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must
remember to be a good dog:
***I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it, or
after they throw it up.
***I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs,
cowpatties, etc., just because
I like the way they smell.
***I will not munch on "leftovers" in the kitty litter
box; although they are
tasty, they are not food.
***The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.
***The sofa is not a face towel; neither are Mom and
Dad's laps
***The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
***My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
***I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in
for Mom's driver's
license and registration.
***I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when
he's on the toilet
***Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is not an
acceptable way of
saying 'hello.'
***I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm
lying under the
coffee table.
***I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before
entering the house.
***I will not throw up in the car.
***I will not come in from outside and immediately drag
my butt across the
carpet.
***I will not sit in the middle of the living room and
lick my crotch when
we have company.
***The cat is not a squeaky toy; So when I play with him
and he makes that
noise, it's usually not a good thing.
Dear God:
May I have my testicles back? |
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