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| BULLDOG PHILOSOPHY |
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If a Bulldog was the teacher, you would
learn stuff like:
When loved ones come home, always run to greet
them.
Never pass up the opportunity to go for a
joyride.
Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind
in your face to
be pure ecstasy.
When it's in your best interest, practice
obedience.
Let others know when they've invaded your
territory.
Take naps.
Stretch before rising.
Run, romp, and play daily.
Thrive on attention and let people touch you.
Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.
On warm days, stop to lie on your back on the
grass.
On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a
shady tree.
When you're happy, dance around and wag your
entire body.
No matter how often you're scolded, don't buy
into the guilt thing
and pout ... run right back and make friends.
Delight in the simple joy of a short walk.
Eat with gusto and enthusiasm. Stop when you
have had enough.
Be Loyal. Never pretend to be something you're
not.
If what you want lies buried, dig until you find
it.
When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit
close, and nuzzle them gently.
(Author unknown)
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If Dogs wrote letters to God:
Dear God:
Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if
ever, smell one another?
Dear God:
When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch?
Or is it the same old story?
Dear God:
Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the
cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and
the
rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog? How often
do you see a cougar riding around? We dogs love
a
nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the
'Chrysler Eagle' the 'Chrysler Beagle' ?
Dear God:
If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no
human hears him, is he still a bad dog?
Dear God:
We dogs can understand human verbal
instructions, hand signals whistles, horns,
clickers, beepers,
scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and
Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?
Dear God:
More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.
Dear God:
When we get to the Pearly Gates, do we have to
shake hands to get in?
Dear God:
Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will
I have to apologize?
Dear God:
Let me give you a list of just some of the
things I must remember to be a good dog:
***I will not eat the cats' food before they eat
it, or after they throw it up.
***I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish,
crabs, cowpatties, etc., just because
I like the way they smell.
***I will not munch on "leftovers" in the kitty
litter box; although they are
tasty, they are not food.
***The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.
***The sofa is not a face towel; neither are Mom
and Dad's laps
***The garbage collector is not stealing our
stuff.
***My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
***I will not bite the officer's hand when he
reaches in for Mom's driver's
license and registration.
***I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's
underwear when he's on the toilet
***Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is not
an acceptable way of
saying 'hello.'
***I do not need to suddenly stand straight up
when I'm lying under the
coffee table.
***I must shake the rainwater out of my fur
before entering the house.
***I will not throw up in the car.
***I will not come in from outside and
immediately drag my butt across the
carpet.
***I will not sit in the middle of the living
room and lick my crotch when
we have company.
***The cat is not a squeaky toy; So when I play
with him and he makes that
noise, it's usually not a good thing.
******Dear God:
May I have my testicles back?
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